Friday, April 22, 2011

Toxic "Friends"

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I was thinking yesterday about how very blessed I am to have such great friends. (And NO, I wouldn't trip them if the zombies chased us, LOL!) My friends are people I can count on...people who are ALWAYS there with an ear to listen when I need to rant (who, me?) and a joke to make me laugh when I'm sad.

But it wasn't always that way.

Way back when our sons were little, I became friends with the mom of one of their playmates. She and I spent a lot of afternoons together, chatting while the boys played. At first it was fine, but as time went on, I realized that I always felt WORSE after spending an afternoon with her.
But no, it really wasn't like the picture above.
THAT would have been easy... she was way more subtle. She just slid in sly, snide little comments... little 'zingers' that made me feel bad and played over and over in my head, accompanied by little comebacks that I WISHED I'd said.
(Let me just interject that people who didn't know me then
are probably sitting there with their mouths hanging open
after reading that last paragraph. What can I say?
I was young and nonassertive. This would NOT happen to me now.)

Anyway, when my friend started needling our younger son (who was 5 years old at the time) under the guise of joking around, that was the beginning of the end for our "friendship". I'd like to tell you that I up and told her off. But I was young and gutless sweet, so I took a more cowardly route. I was never "home" when she called and I stopped returning her phone calls. She eventually got the hint and stopped calling. They moved away a few months later, and that was that.

Well, I promised you a more thought-provoking post and I hope this fit the bill. What about you? Anyone you've said GOOD RIDDANCE to?

Thanks for stopping by!


  1. Been there, done that. Took the gutless way out also.

  2. I am afraid I got myself into real trouble after five months of her bullying my autistic daughter into meltdowns I yanked her by the hair and told her what a bitch she was! Not the best way in the end it would have been better to slink away!But God it felt Good!

  3. Thanks for sharing. Man, looks like I am not the only one who was in a toxic 'friendship' with a frenemy who came in the form of a monstrous flatmate from hell a few years ago. She was manipulative, sneaky and horrible to the point that she turned a few of my friends away and played mind games to make me think I was the bad one. She is also a spoilt and materialistic brat who not only made enemies with me, the victim, but also with others (last I heard she is still making enemies with people wherever she goes). Yes, it was good riddance to her in late 2005 and I never looked back. Last but not least, you are not the only one.

  4. I have toxic people in my life but they are family members. And I have had confrontations with them in the past. Now I have "distanced" myself from them and it is much better for me and my family this way. I know exactly what you are talking about!

  5. Good post, I do have TP in my life. I look at them differently now, I just don't care that much what they say or do.

    That feels pretty good!